2010 Recap

I suppose like the rest of the world population the last few days of December are often used to reflect upon the previous year and dream about the upcoming year.

I begin my journey at the end of 2009 where I was the new mother to a very handsome (yet very colicky) baby boy. I recently switched jobs from a full time career in the clinical trials field to a more than full time job of being a stay at home mom. My husband had just started a new job and was constantly traveling for his new training. I had just moved into a new home. Joel and I spent our New Years with our good friends the Crums.

My dreams for 2010 were getting my son to sleep through the night, lose my baby weight, learn how to be a great mom and and even better wife. I had thoughts of making homemade foods, becoming better in the kitchen, and growing deeper at church.

I believe it is quite funny that I accomplished all those goals, but my life seemed to start on a whole new roller coaster. 2010 brought more changes than I ever dealt with in my life. I knew when I married Joel that our lives would be in constant forward motion for quite some time. Little did I know that the constant motion I signed up for was like super race car fast motion! In addition to making a cross town move when Nathaniel was 2 weeks old, we made a cross country move when Nathaniel was 8 months old. It was probably one of the hardest decisions and moves I have ever made. We did, however, get to experience the true beauty of this country and I got to see the small town in Montana where Joel grew up! I am still adjusting to the change of the West Coast, but know that God's blessings continue to pour on my family. Our family grew expectedly in early April with the addition of our puppy Sedona and grew unexpectedly in early July with the announcement of our second pregnancy. Joel and I survived 3 months of him traveling for training and an additional month and half of traveling when we moved out West. After 9 months of restless nights, we finally sleep trained Nathaniel and got full nights sleep once again. I started recipe blogging and expanded my kitchen skills. I learned how to organize and be a more successful Stay at Home Mommy.

All in all 2010 taught me that despite being brought to my breaking point, God is always there to pick me up and bring me back. I found that my trust in the Lord has strengthened immensely with each life challenge and change that I experience. My friends have become like family and I am extremely blessed to have amazing couples in my life to walk alongside of. I learned that I love my son to no end and am very excited to bring another one into this world. The love that I have for Joel has grown so deep that it overwhelms me at times. I am so proud to be his wife and have him the father of my children. He is not only an amazing spiritual leader, but a fantastic father and husband. He has shown me unconditional love and his deep devotion to his family.

What to expect in 2011:

**Baby Noah to make his appearance in March!

**Another California move to the Elk Grove/Sacramento area in June for Joel's promotion!

**Continuing cooking skills and possibly a blog with recipes and tips that I love and enjoy for my family.

**Goal to read 100 books starting January 1st 2011 and ending December 31st.

**Goal to read through the entire Bible in one year.

**Goal to strengthen my relationship in Christ as I learn to become a better woman, wife, mother, and friend.

**I am sure that when I write my blog for the end of 2011 I will be writing with many unexpected surprises and changes again!

So, I sit here New Years Eve 2010 unfortunately 3 time zones away from my husband as he had to work while I vacationed in PA. My son is currently got a nasty cold that took me away from my plans, but all is well! I got celebrate the end of 2010 meeting Baby Sadie Grace for the first time (can't believe she is 6 months old already!) and welcoming Bauer Jackson to the world! I am thankful for all the memories, blessings, challenges, and changes that came in 2010 and excited for the same in 2011!!

One Year Old

Nathaniel's first birthday just passed on Saturday. I can honestly say I could not sleep the night before because I was completely filled with jitters and anxious to celebrate his day! His first birthday not only marks his first year of life, but our first year at parenting.

We have so enjoyed getting to know our son. Each passing week, he becomes more of a little person and is filled with more personality. In his early months, I thought I had the unhappiest baby. He would cry all the time and would never sleep. It turns out that he had colic and literally hated being immobile. As each milestone passed that allowed his more and more mobility he became a much happier boy. I remember his loud screech laughs that he made when he realized he could roll across our whole living room to get his toys. Now, as he navigates the house through crawling and cruising on any object that he can use to "walk" he is truly elated.

His laughter and joy has filled our house. Joel and I literally fill up with love each time his bright smile widens when he see us. He is an extremely sociable young man. He loves people. He is a people watcher much like Joel. He never cries when I leave him at a nursery. He just truly enjoys people. I know he will be so happy to have a playmate close in age.

Joel and I have settled into a comfortable routine of parenting. We navigate the daily parenting tasks with ease, as opposed to the early days when we struggled to change a diaper quickly and it took us forever just to leave the home. I went from a self conscious mom to a confident women who was completely comfortable with my parenting style. So much has happened in a short 365 days. We have moved twice since Nathaniel was born. We had one cross town move and one cross country move. I went from working full time to being a more than full time stay at home mom. Life has brought us a myriad of challenges, but thankfully the Lord has provided for us each step of the way.

Parent Accomplishments over the 12 months:

Breastfeeding for a few weeks shy of one year

Teaching our son to sleep through the night via the cry it out method (at 6 and 9 months)

Learning how to have an amazing date night at home

Falling more in love with each other throughout the day

Falling more in love with our son

Nathaniel Accomplishments:

Basically everything!! At the end of 12 months Nathaniel can:

Almost walk!! He lets go and takes a step here and there

Say Mom, Dad, that, and Hi

Wave hello and goodbye

Let us know he is hungry

Eat an entire meal of "adult" food

Drink from a sippy cup

Sleep a good 12 hours each night!

Laugh, dance, and sing

We look forward to the next years with our son. We have so enjoyed being parents through the good times and the bad, and everything in between :)

Waking up to the smell of coffee....

I knew something was off when Joel opened the fridge one morning and all I could smell was coffee. The smell just lingered and lingered. I thought I might vomit on the spot. I chalked it up to a random cold and our small house where smells just linger. My lower back started aching, alot. Again I chalked it up to adding a 2 mile walk to my daily routine. I couldn't remember the last time I had a period. But that is nothing new because I am still breastfeeding and each month I get a really random period.

I found a dollar store pregnancy test while unpacking the bathroom and got intrigued one morning. I figured I could not possibly be pregnant, I mean Nathaniel is 9 months old and I am still losing the baby weight. However, not two seconds after I peed on the stick I saw a bright red double line which only means one thing. I was shocked. Not shocked like a high school girl who gets pregnant on her first time of having sex (I mean come on I am married with one child I know how this works), but shocked in like wow is this really happening.

Joel's immediate reaction was much like when we found out we were expecting Nathaniel...except this time over text message. I never saw that many exclamation marks in one text. He was beyond overjoyed...I was still in shock.

My blog will turn into many things over the next months, a recipe center, a place for me to post the many amazing things my son does, and a pregnancy journal. I have to admit that I am very jealous of my under/normal weighted friends. They look amazing during their pregnancies. I feel like I look like a fat blob. But this pregnancy will be different for me. I am making a 110% effort to put my health and my family's health first. I did a lot of research and talked to my doctor and because I am overweight, I only need to gain 10 pounds. I know that sounds crazy because most people feel it is their liberty to eat for two while pregnant, but by sticking to a very strict healthy diet, I will not only keep myself in good condition, but also provide our growing child the best possible place to live for 9 months.

It will not be an easy challenge as I try to exercise, eat healthy, and get plenty of rest with an almost 10 month old who is almost walking. But luckily I have a husband who is on my side and a God who gives me strength far beyond what I ever imagined.

So, for my final thought I am so extremely excited that God has blessed us with another little baby. It is amazing to see our dreams of a larger family forming right before our eyes. I am beyond blessed to have an amazing husband who provides for this family in ways that I could never express and a son who brings me so much joy each and every day.

Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months free of major morning sickness and the wicked heartburn I faced last time ;)

Mathiesons Munchies: Homemade Tortillas and Green Chile Enchiladas

In the process of losing the baby weight and some other pre-baby weight I decided not to diet. The word diet just bugs me and it makes me feel hungry at the thought of it. And plus who really sticks to a diet. So, instead I have made a lifestyle change and already noticing a difference. The pants are a little looser, I feel more energized, etc. The main change that I made was to get rid of all processed items in our house. That includes potato chips, cookies, crackers, breads, condensed creamy soups, and hamburger helpers to name a few. I then replaced all those items with homemade versions and not only do they taste better, but they are better for me. I feel much better about eating a homemade cookie than eating a processed one from the store. Plus it tastes 10 times better. I get a lot of my inspirations from cooking blogs that I stalk and then adapt the recipe to my own specifications. My favorite blog is melskitchencafe. She has great recipes with everyday ingredients. And this is where my inspiration for this dish came.

This is one of the meals that I made from all fresh ingredients (minus the enchilada sauce...not sure how to make that from scratch). Tortillas are amazingly easy to make and taste so much better than the package. You can make more than one batch and even make tortilla chips out of them. So, here is the recipe and plus it gets Joel's vote of approval. He said we could have this everyday for like ever.

Enchiladas:

Filling

3 cups of shredded chicken (about 3 chicken breasts)

1 can of black beans rinsed and drained

2 4 oz cans of green chiles drained

1 tsp of garlic powder

1 tsp of cumin

Salt and Pepper to taste

3/4 of a block of cream cheese (I used low fat cream cheese)

Enchilada Sauce

2 Tablespoons of butter

2 Tablespoons of flour

1/2 cup of chicken stock (or broth)

1/4 cup of milk

1 1/2 cups of green chile enchilada sauce

3 heaping tablespoons of sour cream (I used fat free)

8 Tortillas (see recipe below)

1 to 1 1/2 cups of shredded cheese (I used cheddar cheese but you could use monterey jack as well)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix the ingredients for the filling and set aside.

In a large saucepan or deep skillet, melt the butter and add the flour once the butter is melted. It will be thick and gooey. Let that mixture cook out for about 3-4 minutes. Add the chicken stock and milk and simmer until the sauce is thick and creamy. Remove from the heat and add the enchilada sauce and sour cream and mix until incorporated.

Pour some of the sauce in the bottom of a 9 x 13 pan and begin assembling the enchiladas. Add a couple of spoonfuls of chicken mixture to each tortilla and top with some cheese. Roll the tortilla up and place seam side down in the pan. Pour the remaining sauce over the enchiladas and top with the remaining cheese. Cook for about 20-25 minutes until the sauce is bubbling and the cheese is melted.

Tortillas

3 cups of all purpose flour

1 tsp of salt

1/2 tsp of baking powder

6 Tablespoons of canola oil

1 cup of hot water

(I did this in my stand mixer, but you could do it by hand or in a food processor.)

Place the flour, salt, baking powder, and oil in your mixing bowl. Mix together until all incorporated. Slowly add the hot water until a nice soft ball forms. Knead this mixture for about 2 minutes until a stiff, yet soft ball is formed. Cover with a towel or plastic wrap for 20 minutes. Pull apart 8 pieces and shape them into balls. Cover with towel and let rest for 10 minutes. Roll each dough ball to a thin flat disk about 5-7 inches in diameter. Dry fry each disk for about 1 minute per side or until golden in color. (Dry fry is simply using a hot skillet to cook the tortilla with no added oil.)

Keep in an airtight bag or container. You can heat them in the microwave or the oven when ready to use.

If You Want Me To

I heard this song in college from an old roommate and I heard it again today and it really described my life (and probably most of your lives as well). Its called "If you want me to" by Ginny Owens.

"The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear. I dont know the reason why you brought me here. But just because you love me the way that you do, Im gonna walk through the valley if you want me to." "Cause I am not who I was when I took my first step and I am clinging to the promise that you are not through with me yet. So, if all of these trials bring me closer to you. I will go through the fire if you want me to."

The past few months have been some of the most challenging in my life. God had a plan prepared for us that meant tearing us away from the only family, friends, and home that I have known. I had no idea how far my faith and strength would be stretched. I was tired, broken, and sad to leave a place that was so comfortable to me to enter into an unknown place with no friends or family closer than a 6 hour drive. But still through it all Joel and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were meant to make this journey.

We left my family and friends knowing that God had a better journey prepared for us. We made the trek across our beautiful country and finally ended up in California. From major meltdowns in the car (by Nathaniel and sometimes myself), to furniture taking over 2 weeks to get here, Joel leaving for training in Phoenix, and 12 hour driving days. We finally were able to relax with family in Northern California and Bend Oregon. All along the way we saw God's provisions and blessings for us. We got rest when we needed it and we were refreshed by new and improving relationships. It was a beautiful picture of the life that God has for us. Despite the trials there is always a little rainbow of faith to keep us going.

When we finally got to our new home, it felt different. The landscape was unfamiliar. The people were strangers. But, the overwhelming sense of peace that engulfed us, helped ease the transition.

We are still settling into our new home and our new area and know that each place we go is only a temporary home as we make this journey in life. I still do not know why God called us here, but we were obedient and know that He will bless us because of this.

"You never said it would be easy, you only said we wont have to go it alone."

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

Blessings in Disguise

I feel quite guilty at the moment. I am stowed away in the my son's room typing this up. He is currently sleeping peacefully (praise God!). I am here because it is the only room cool enough at the moment to be in. I am not a huge fan of the heat and humidity, especially at night while trying to sleep. But Nathaniel is the lucky one and gets the coolest room to himself, except for my night time cool downs. It made me realize how much I have sacrificed for Nathaniel so far, and how much I will continue to sacrifice over his lifetime. It honestly does not feel like a sacrifice when you do it out of the unconditional love the swells up inside of me each time I see his chubby cheeks and bright blue eyes!

Today a good friend asked me the following question regarding motherhood: "Is it all you thought it would be?" I answered with a sort of wishy washy answer (which I am sure she picked up on), because I didnt know how to answer properly. Everyone tells you their experience of motherhood and it differs for each person, so I did not know what to expect when we brought him home. During my whole pregnancy I did not connect with Nathaniel. I am ashamed to admit it, but I honestly didn't really feel any different. I felt uncomfortable, full of heartburn and on bed rest of some person that I didnt even know. I was worried that I would love him more than I love Joel. I was worried he would tear my marriage apart when it just got started. Well all that changed when I looked into his face the first moment he came out. I immediately fell in love with him and continue to fall more in love with him each day.

However, my road to motherhood has not been the easiest. Being a mother has changed me profoundly. I secretly hoped for that child that was so calm and would sleep through the night at 6 weeks. I longed for the child to cuddle up with me when he got sad. Well in case you haven't guessed Nathaniel is none of those things. He is extremely independent. He only wants to be held when he deems it necessary. He has only cuddled with me a few times (I think he was drugged up from vaccines). And the sleeping through the night...HAH! On Nathaniel's 6 month birthday he graced us with the ability to sleep at least 9 hours before he woke up. It took weeks of sleep training and many months of sleepless nights. I felt saddened by the fact that I have this very needy, high maintenance child. This is so not what I expected from motherhood.

But somewhere along the way, the sadness sleepless nights and temper tantrums started to fade as my son's personality came out. He is the biggest charmer. His smile literally lights up a room. He has the highest shriek of a laugh and can giggle with the best of them. He is constantly testing his boundaries to see what he can do next. His mind is rolling too quickly for his own good. He has just learned to pull himself up on objects to stand and he will literally try to stand on just about anything from toilets, to saucepans, to chairs and his crib. He loves to climb and loves to eat paper. I realized recently that I would not trade any of that for a baby who sleeps through the night at 6 weeks and is super calm.

So, is motherhood all I thought, most definitely not. But I have to say, much like most of the expectations I have for things, this has far exceeded it. I absolutely 100% love being a mother. It truly is the best job in the world. Everything has slowly started to fall into place. Being a parent has strengthened the bond between Joel and I. It also gives us a purpose much beyond ourselves.

It took me about 7 months to realize that I also want a bigger family (part of me is hoping for a calmer baby next time!). This journey into motherhood has just begun....

To the ends of the Earth

Well I wanted to start a blog to keep up with our family and I have been completely lousy at it. The past 6 months have passed by so quickly. I cannot believe that Nathaniel is now 6 months old. He rolls all over to get from one place to the other. He is talking and laughing, sitting up on his own, and an amazing little boy. I fall more in love with him everyday. The only downfall is that for the past 6 months I have not gotten a full nights sleep. I am hoping and praying that will come with time as well!

To say the past 6 months have been calm would be a joke. I cannot remember a time in my life where things have been moving so quickly and acquired so many changes. I am married to a man that loves taking on life's challenges and loves change! So, I am slowly learning to adapt. Among our changes have been a move from Norristown to Sellersville (in Bucks County), a new car, a new job for Joel (Assitant Manager at BuyBuyBaby) and for me (full time stay at home mom), a baby, and a puppy! With all those changes, it doesnt seem possible to add anything else to our plate. But it is sure possible! For those of you that do not know, Joel was born in Oregon and has family on the West Coast of the US. He has lived out here for about 12 years and has always wanted to go back, but there was never a good opportunity or time. Well, I am glad he stayed because I got a chance to meet him! His dream quickly became my dream when I visited his family in California for the first time. I felt completely at home there (not just because the Mathieson's are amazing), but it just felt right. So, we began to pray for the right timing. In the back of our minds we always figured we would be out here another 5-7 more years. But God in His infinite wisdom has called us sooner. About two months ago Joel was offered a position in a store in San Jose California. And after some negotiation and prayer, we decided to make the move.

It was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make. I absolutely love Pennsylvania. I grew up here and it is truly my home. My family is close by. I enjoy seeing the four seasons. But I knew that this was our dream and we have the opportunity to live out our dream. So, we are moving to a place that has not seen snow in 20+ years and has minor earthquakes. But it is absolutely gorgeous. We will be less than an hour from Santa Cruz Ca home of some of the best US surfing, less than an hour from Napa Valley and San Francisco. We will have a mild temperature most of the year with some warm dry summers and cooler winters. We have chosen a town where we will be living in the country in the foothills of some larger mountain range. It is super exciting and I cannot wait to move out there. I look forward to the drive out west where I get to see parts of the country that I have always wanted to see!

On the flip side I will be leaving my family and friends that I consider family. It will be hard to say goodbye to my mom who I have learned so much from over the past few months of being a mother myself. Its hard to say goodbye to my dad and brother who have been there with me as well. I know God is good and these goodbyes arent goodbyes forever. I mean we live in a time where you can get cheap airfare and I can be with my family and friends in a matter of hours.

We leave in the middle of June and while I would like to see everyone and everything before we leave I know it isnt possible. So, if you want to get together please let me know! In the meantime I will be working on getting my fill of Wegmans, Chick Fil A, Tony Lukes, the Phillies, the gorgeous spring we are having, trips to NYC and Philadelphia, and anything else I can think of!

I once thought that God could only call you to the most remote places at the Ends of the Earth to accomplish His will, but I am realizing that He can call you across the country and it feels just as far. I am excited that God is in the center of our plans. I am excited to see how he will develop my relationships here and grow my new relationships.

Please pray for the transition as it will be physically and emotionally tough on Joel, Nathaniel, Sedona, and I.

I am Woman...Hear me Roar!

So, I finally have a minute to myself to reflect upon the past couple of months. I am amazed at the amount of chaos and change that can occur in such a short period of time. This is the first time in almost five months that I can actually breathe. I feel like I am past survival mode and able to live freely again. I read all the books and stalked all the message boards on babycenter.com, but nothing prepared me for motherhood. With all my previous jobs I got a clear cut outline of the expectations and requirements to perform my job well. I feel like it has taken me 5 months just to handle some of the minor life tasks that came so easily before Nathaniel. I used to be able to just pick up and go do what ever I felt. After weeks of running late and having supermarket meltdowns, I feel completely confident leaving the house with just a diaper bag and my son in his infant carrier. It takes me less and less time to prepare for my departures from home. I have learned to time my errands during my son's precious nap times. I have gotten completely comfortable nursing my son in public. On another excited note, I can finally wear non-maternity clothes and my wedding rings are fitting nicely again.

But instead of feeling like my normal self, I feel different. I feel empowered. I got to experience a firsthand miracle. I was able to successfully conceive, carry, and deliver a healthy baby boy. I was able (and still able to) provide Nathaniel's sole source of nourishment and development. I feel like I have reached my full womanhood potential. I can honestly say that I experienced one of the most intense pains in my life and survived. Even though I will never receive a medal or win the title of woman of the year, I feel like a hero.

I quit my job in early February and I never felt more excited and content. I know some of the major feminists and equal opportunity people will dislike the following statement. But I honestly feel like I was created to be a stay at home mother. I know for a fact that this is the first time that I have ever felt confident and comfortable in my own skin. And I am proud of it. I am so thankful to have a husband that is able to provide this lifestyle for me family. I feel confident and excited about the woman that God is creating me to be.

So with all that said...I am working on the motivation to lose the baby weight and a little bit more! I am working on feeling like an attractive woman for myself and my husband. I am working on being a great mother to my son. And most important, I am working on developing a deeper relationship with Christ. And seeing the progress I made in the past 5 months, I know I can do it all! The journey continues....